Thursday, March 19, 2015

A SAD MAN



A SAD MAN finally appeared last night at Galleria Unplugged (my gallery of the streets) in South Florida very briefly for a photo op in this blog. Did I tell you that I have now graduated from the UoU (University at the door Of the Universe) with a degree: Passionné de Contraire. This is my aspiration to elevate myself above the argument of whether one should use pepper or salt... Though not to a position of exclusivity, as in "better than thou", but certainly outside the milieu of the rhetorical, if that is possible in my case, as a stupid, indoctrinated boy from the forest.

A SAD MAN, my latest work of art, will be a test of my academic achievement, the posit of which resulted in a book, which is now in manuscript form, ready to go to the publisher. This book will be available for sale at any venue where I will present my art and spoken word performance.

I am now faced with a new challenge, that will require me to defend myself, intelligently and with a sanguine state of mind while not looking entirely imbecilic.

A SAD MAN is graphic, so I feel I must expose him with a level of judicious advice to young and innocent minds. He arrives amid a global outcry at male predator abuse against women and children and at this time when media buttons are flashing all over the board, stirring up reactions of rage and hysteria at tsunamic levels… enough to cut the dick of every man on the face of the earth.

In this mob tide, A SAD MAN appears, ready to be dangled, innocent or guilty, from that big old oak branch on boot hill.

It is here where I take my stand

Ready to defend that magnificent sexual man
From global castration
To travel with me in my van
To stand in his corner like a man
Bold, compassionate, re-pute-able
Against the toxic, mindless babble







 
 
Selamat tinggal
 
Rod
 






 

 
 
 
 

Monday, March 2, 2015

Back to Ego and Other Boxes

Note: I included the first two or three pages of this post, yesterday but some other commentary came in from MacD that took us into some contentious territory so, I wanted to add that, at the risk, of course, of boring you. It does point out one of my problem character flows, which she points out as “knee jerk” reaction. She is right as I recognize it in other of my siblings. Having it pointed out is stingy but, constructive. That flaw is needing to have the last word, even if the listener has fallen asleep as I have travelled off into flat land… a bit of hyperbole but, am sure you get the point.


 

Rod

My DAAARRRRLIN’ you have written a lot of interesting commentary here. Sometimes I think we, you and I are riding on the same psychic wave...



MacD

Here are some questions:

Is the task at hand to encourage thought through the creation of an object? Or is it to measure the impact of its expression (validation)?


Rod
I think the “object”... the product?, be it material or philosophical is what arrives out of thought, incidentally... idealistically... thought and the freedom of thought, being the objective


MacD

And just how does one measure that impact? Through societal means? i.e. recognition, praise, money, publicity, demand? These are ego pursuits.




Rod

Is “ego” learned? and if it is, then it is a parasite on the back of praise, recognition, etc., for survival… in fear of demise. I do have an ego but, it seems to be waning in face of my need to develop eloquence or perfection, which are the products of the external world... applied ego? If we succeed at survival... at the skill, for instance, of killing a beast, we feel better, as our belly is full and future killings require less energy, more productivity, more leisure time. Does ego arrive at this point? you teach your child the skill at successful procreation. Then arrives ‘satisfaction’... pride, with pats on the back. Everyone is happier. If it is for the success of the tribe...is it evil? Is it ego or does it become ego if it rewards only yourself and not the community, where others are placed in servitude for your benefit, your ego?

I think a performer on stage, giving people delight, is healthy for the audience [tribe]... If the performer, the teacher is skilful, the tribe becomes more healthy and gives a pat on the back or a buck in the pocket from the knowledge imparted to the tribe, with a new level of awareness.. an enhanced level of survival. The performer becomes the hunter/teacher. Ego arrives if the hunter does this for his own profit, that leads to the servitude of others.

As you can see...I am stumbling my way through this investigation of the meaning of “ego”. Now I say “eloquence and perfection’ are not externally applied but, come from within, as one’s skill grows, that ideally brings with it the success of the tribe. Ego is a corrupt character flaw that is influenced from a genetic default... the selfish gene, which is socialized out from childhood but, is ever present and brings debauchery, when ego steps into the theatre of the absurd. ”

 


MacD

So it's all about getting one's voice heard, then validated as influential---but how do we ever determine its influence?


 

Rod

Its influence is validated/successful if the tribe is truly and honestly satisfied or happy, without regret or cynicism.


 

MacD

I'm thinking of a lone canary singing a beautifully brilliant song. He sings and sings, not a mating cry, just a long and uniquely precious voice singing away without thought of an audience. He sings because he can and because he needs to, and it is enough. He cannot know that the tiny child a mile away is so taken with the canary's melody that his inner music is awakened and he becomes a talented composer. The canary sings because he has a voice, and it is enough.

He isn't seeking praise or payment or even impact.

There is a conflict of interest in our needs. One is to express. The other is to receive validation for the expression. One is clear and true. The other is a societal package. How can they both live in the same body?




Rod

If they live in the same body there is conflict... external, destructive conflict.

Of course, this is all from my source of Poetic Authority




MacD

Lately I’ve been wondering if I've lost my mind….or finally found my voice. I'm hoping it's the latter. I feel like I've made a wonderful discovery that answers a million agonizing questions I've had through life. And here I am writing to a man that knew this all along. Like I've jumped out of the mainstream into mental clarity.

Man needs his life to having meaning and purpose, whether it's misconceived, illusionary, or bang on the money. Isn't that the driving force behind ambition no matter the goal? Once he's figured out the vehicle to reach that goal, he seeks confirmation of having achieved it.


 

Rod

Morally and ideally, he seeks confirmation by a happy tribe, lest he arrives at internal conflict and external unhappiness, which of course can lead to a multiple of disastrous outcomes from an ego in decline.

 


MacD

The artist creates to express himself, to draw attention and interest, and his measure of achievement is in concrete results.




Rod

The artist creates to educate himself, to improve his skills




MacD

Attaining the result is the most difficult and unpredictable step in his quest. The lack of a desired result can look like failure based on our social constructs of success. But I believe the unique expression in itself is the validation. If Man undoes his cultural packaging and expresses a new vision, the goal is achieved. It is a life of meaning and purpose and does not require external validation. The imprint of his work is permanent and not measurable under the terms of society. Validation is achieved when another man is directly or indirected ignited by the flow of unpackaged thought, but how and where can we be sure the flow originated with another person's expression?


 

Rod

I believe in the “unpackaging” to achieve new vision, new skills

MacD: Validation from society is an ego pursuit...

Rod: If there is corruption.


MacD
Ego IS the entire character. Ego is SELF. We learn that we are separate and the ego is born. Our view of the world is through our ego. And egos need to be fed. Feed it praise, acceptance, etc as a developing young ego and a healthier adult may result. Feed it criticism, verbal abuse, or neglect it completely and mental disturbances develop. An unhealthy parent's ego will damage the child's view of himself in relation to the world.

The consciousness I have spoken of before lives outside of the ego and is the part of us that has no ego, but it is still within.(In my view it is connected with all living things). Easier name is Higher Self, if you will. My personal goal is to live through that part of myself, and less through ego. Higher Self is present when we are born, but ego takes over because it's the channel of humanity.

Ego currently rules the world. People like Mother Teresa may have been able to live fully in their 'higher selves'. And maybe the Buddha, Jesus, Krishna as well.

But society is run by a collection of self serving egos operating as politicians. The real leaders are the big money corporations whose 'ethic' is bottom line and not humankind. We've allowed the real leaders to shape us, tell us what we want, need, must have. Corporations have written the acceptable status code for our society through years of advertising manipulation. Fucking bastards.

Your comment that validation for the artist comes when the tribe is happier or successful….I'm working on that one. Happiness as a goal makes me somewhat uncomfortable. It might just be semantics.

There is an expression…..you can define a man by how he rewards himself. We live in a happy-crazed society where everyone's goal in life is to 'be happy'. It's not achievable as a goal externally, in my view. To me happiness is the byproduct of serving mankind well during our lifetime.

I'm sure I'll have more to say……….I've tuned in to a couple of Alan Watts' videos on YouTube….are you familiar with him?

 
MacD
If I change the words "Higher Self" to Eloquence, is it still bullshit?
 
Rod
WOW... here is a very quick impulsive response, as I am right in the middle of other writing stuff. That sounds like a lot of Jungian, Freudian, etc, etc rhetorical bullshit in a “box” which I have red about along the way . But, I am anxious to get to a more considered reply to you shortly….
 
I read through you letter again and I still come out with a similar sentiment. The challenge I have before me is to articulate my emotion, my passion on that box of this ego mumbo jumbo stuff. I have been reading Jung, which includes his assessment of Freud, his former teacher and friend. They parted company over Freud’s sexual emphasis. I parted company with Jung (temporarily) with his religious emphasis... that was about half way through the book, which was given to me by a psychologist friend of Lulu’s... “Memories Dreams and Reflections”.

It is interesting that one often hears about psychologists needing their private psychologist... because they are “so fucked up”? It is also interesting how so many people need psychologists these days and what do they, the psychs do ... ask the client questions and provide no answers. This HUGH psychology industry

(religion?) has so much invested in their dogma that they must keep coming up with new mental issues to feed themselves and they do this by ever sectioning out parts of the brain to a new problem. They will soon be using a microscopic sectioning device.
I have never been to a psychologist and will never venture there. They are highly over rated and terrified, no doubt, of creating crazies out of their clients.
“These victims of the psychic dichotomy of our times are merely optional neurotics; their apparent morbidity drops away the moment the gulf between the ego and the unconscious is closed. The doctor who has felt this dichotomy to the depths of his being will be able to reach a better understanding of the unconscious psychic processes, and will be saved from the danger of inflation to which the psychologist is prone” Jung pg 144
This is interesting...I just picked that book up again, as I carry these thinking motivators with me in my van and I simply opened it to a page and wrote down the first line that registered in my eyes.
I have a problem with the unconscious being “closed” as I feel it is never so. It is
often on the surface, during the day and at night in dreams.
I never had a problem with “ego” as I never knew about it except in casual conversations like... “He has a big ego”. They were called bullies and you put them in detention and don’t let them have a piece of that birthday cake, that they love.
Here it is here... just found this which will help me to start helping to articulate my feeling on all this boxed rhetorical psychology bullshit on ids, egos, anima/animus. I need to trust myself more... with my poetic authority. Yet I do have duty to not be rude or arrogant in responses. I must be articulate and eloquent, which I feel has nothing to do with ego...

Overview http://www.textetc.com/theory/jung.html
Jung's psychiatry is as much a myth as Freud's, and no more successful in treating mental illness (i.e beyond providing a listening ear), but does provide a broader perspective. Artists are not seen as neurotics, and Jung's archetypes resemble Lakoff and Johnson's schemas.

Introduction
Carl Jung (1875-1961) rejected the mechanistic and reductive aspects of Freud's work and broadened psychoanalysis to include art, mythology and the thought processes of native peoples. He was much closer to common sense than Freud, and gradually moved away from a causative model of personality. Psychic energy was not entirely or even fundamentally sexual in origin. Not all neuroses were rooted in childhood development: one needed to consider the present circumstances, and what hopes the client entertained towards the future.

Jung saw the psyche or total personality as several interacting systems. In place of Freud's superego, ego and id, Jung recognized an ego, a personal unconscious and a collective unconscious. In the personal unconscious were to be found various complexes, and in the collective unconscious were archetypal dispositions to think, perceive and act in a certain way
.


WOW... this is exhausting... but, thanks for opening this up... am sure we will continue I think... I will go back to Jung for a bit. I simply find too much typical, over used, worn out ideology in that tired old box of words and phrases


MacD

Well Mr. Malay, move on from Jung to something more recent. While valuable, it is quite tired and dated. You can trust that I've spent a lot of time on the subject of psychology. A lot has happened in the discipline since Jung and Freud, but they were the originators who lived in extremely sexually uptight times. It is what it is. A good jumping off point for study. Early medical doctors 'bled' people, remember?

When I read your words I am reminded of Scientology…which espouses the same views towards psychologists.



It is difficult to be objective when considering a line of thought. Our biases scream first, our brain jumps in second. Roddie, my friend, I feel your vehemence against any mention of God or soul or spirit. You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but I'm saddened that other positions are not allowed air without insult.

Who of us is certain about what is and what isn't?

I've been to many psychologists and a couple/three psychiatrists (the difference being they become medical doctors first). I didn't like it or benefit from it. I suspect most therapists are glorified social workers. But it doesn't mean the discipline is without merit, or that there are no effective psychologists out there somewhere.

The Ego is a central concept in any kind of work I've read by any psychologist. It may have a different name, but it means the same thing. It is one's concept of himself within the context of his world. I'm not sure one has to be a good student of psychology to have insight into his own thoughts and motivations.

I believe along with you that the population is pretty fucked up today. That's a whole other subject I've thought a good deal about, but that's for another day.

This is all material for THE BOOK. I've been inspired by you and I'm already knee deep.

By the way, the dictionary lists "rhetoric" as a synonym for "eloquence". Interesting.


 

Rod
Yes... you are right... move on but, you did ask about ego. I gave an opinion and not an aggressive one and you came back with a authoritative declaration on the subject that I read as not poetic rather written in stone from another era, that I found challenging. So I grouped around on the subject attempting to articulate a response, that even I was not all that happy with.

“Ego is self!” is that a recent declaration or did Freud declare it so or is that your invention, your discovery. I never really gave it any thought, except because of your letter that started all this intrigue, where I responded with a separation of ego from self ."Ego” is an ancient descriptive of one’s essence, I suppose and it really does not have a favourable reputation so how can it be the “all” of self, when the self is composed of other character descriptives, that are more favourable.



“The consciousness I have spoken of before lives outside of the ego and is the part of us that has no ego” you say. Is this not a contradiction against “Ego is Self”.

I have never studied scientology but, I would not want to be in that club. Tom Cruise and a few other Hollywood ding bats are members. In fact I do not want to be in anyone’s club

.

You are a challenging lady my “DEAR” friend

Now lets see the other issues.



Yes, I definitely have an issue with ignorance. I was awaken out of sleep this morning with this thought: All religions are hate crimes against humanity. Religions become a target of ridicule as they violate civil liberties and human rights. This is especially so in the case of women, as well as many other social issues... homosexuality, stem cell research, abortion, euthanasia and others I forget. So this is a contradiction to the so called “benevolent God in Heaven” or where ever in hell he lives. So why should I be tolerant of religion, of “GOD”. There is some parallel here, though certainly not as extreme, with recent journalists espousing an “ideology” of the “Islamic State” to explain their debauchery, when they are simply reptilian butcherers.

This is not me feeling insulted... it is me challenging the dumbing down language of: “Who of us is certain about what is and what isn't?”. In my Poetic Authority... there is no “is” Rhetorical it is yes... eloquent it is not. I will not hide my opinion on this nor will I challenges any who do not challenge me on this subject but, it is bedding down with law breakers.

Words have different meanings in different contexts. There is no question that some politicians are eloquent rhetoricalists, the bastards... Harper not included, though a bastard he is. For me, eloquent means expressiveness, poise, wittiness if possible, articulation in my search for creative invention but not for the parroting of worn out hackney proverbs.

Bon soir MacD



MacD

Here we go again. There is definitely a problem discussing/debating/exploring subjects when not face to face. Seems like we both put our "dukes" up. You asked questions about the 'ego', and I told you what I knew, perhaps not well. Then you called it bullshit, then I felt insulted, then I insulted you so-to-speak, and on and on. The written word is not the perfect communicator.
You asked me about ego. I didn't make the term 'ego' up. Even the dictionary on my macbook defines it as "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance", which is rather vague I agree. But I feel clear about its meaning in psychological terms and don't think I asked you for an explanation. Why do we get so hung up on semantics? It takes me so far away from the crux of my intended message. Like a skirmish on the sidelines.
But perhaps digging into words helps crystallize the argument for one or the other. On the subject of speaking with a voice that is heard as "authoritative and not poetic", I surrender. We've been through that one and my understanding of how you 'hear' my words is still fuzzy, so it will likely continue as I don't know how to change it, even if I wanted to.
I'm grateful we have these exploration of ideas and thoughts that we exchange. You do frustrate me, as I do you, but I feel I am expanding my knowledge and understanding and I hope you see it that way too.
I heard this expression years ago, and I try to keep it in mind, "He who argues with the loudest voice is still trying to convince himself".
This morning I'm writing about uber-consumerism for THE BOOK. Just my perspective and not as an expert.
 
Rod
Well...
I am not upset, frustrated or insulted. On the contrary, what I am finding ever more intriguing is the glib use of our language, a use that spreads across all languages. The word “Ego” so easily and mindlessly slips off the tongue that it is pragmatically ineffective. This is so with a huge percentage of our language.

I am actually, methodically, working toward a more effective voicing in how I use language and so shy away from words that are so commonplace that the listerner has stopped listening. I have not yet succeeded in precise, economic use in my utterances. But a lot of people have achieved that goal and they become my tutor heroes in the art of communication. The ego crap of my genetic code has a lot of influence in my indoctrinated behaviour. I see it as the hegemony invader... like Putin. I suppose ego, if it is “self” might be akin to cancer cells, that I understand rests through the human body but remains dormant... in healthy bodies, with high immunity firewalls?

Can I get back to the “original'’ mould, to speak from my own centre where my personal receptors have not been tampered with by the predominance of trespassers.
The term “consciousness” fits within the glib language box, so over used that it is meaningless and one loses ones audience the moment it is uttered, unless it now becomes a creature of etymological investigation. In the interim it is off my communications list, as is “ego”. So, I do my best to replace them with other descriptions, as I did with the skill of the hunter in the tribe, where by the way, he was not seeking to find happiness for himself but, was looking at the level of the happiness factor in the tribe (audience) as an indicator to the pragmatic achievement level of his skill and the added benefit of leisure time. I used the word “eloquence” to describe this but, now I am disappointed with that word since it is even feebly related to “rhetoric”. I have not yet thrown it into that box but, I will go back and examine my use of it.
 


MacD


I'm asking myself these questions:

The brain, the mind, the ego, the subconscious and the conscious self….how would I define their meaning in relation to each other?

Where does 'consciousness' fit in? Is the mind separate from consciousness?

Interesting. I like your idea regarding words/communication.

I do agree that many words today have lost their meaning, such as 'depression' when referring to being bummed out or sad. "Grow" your business---that's another one, and "branding" yet another. But I think 'consciousness' has probably the most confusing and misunderstood usage. Today there is a 'consciousness movement', mostly online social media driven which is huge. I enjoy it and I'm delighted to see a younger generation fed up with how we currently do things. That doesn't mean I agree with everything posted. I'm also okay with my usage of 'ego'.

The trouble is that the list of words we think are overused or misused are different for everyone. I happen to think 'bullshit' is overused, and certainly doesn't possess it's original meaning. It's value is in packing a punch, like slamming a door.

And I do like the word eloquence in the context you intend. Frankly, I think it would be easier to replace the word rhetoric, and keep 'eloquence'. I don't think people use 'eloquence' to mean rhetoric or persuasiveness.

Well today I've been up and down working on final negotiations on a house we're selling. This is the buyer's fourth offer, and we've been at it for 4 months. So no work on THE BOOK today.


Rod

Consciousness goes back to my thoughts on genetic memory and my Secular Cell… a simple biological explanation, void of the myths of psychiatric authority.


MacD

It occurs to me that we both possess "buttons" I'm thinking of this now, not as it relates to discussions between us, but in terms of the ideologies we possess and espouse in general. I see 'buttons' as emotional triggers resulting in a conditioned knee-jerk reactions, learned over time, for whatever reason. I also see them as weaknesses. Personally, I would like to overcome these buttons I possess so that my thinking remains clear and open and not hijacked by unidentified emotional baggage that clouds my reception and consideration of alternate ideas. Having certain buttons that kick off a reaction may be very understandable given someone's history, but they steal opportunities and take away from learning. Like a wheel rolling along new ground and suddenly slipping into a well worn and unhelpful rut.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to once again try to see my buttons for what they are, and tamper them back down where they belong.
   


 
Rod

Yeah... true but, some buttons are precious and should not be junked carelessly. They often are gut reactions to important issues that define our identity, that make us human, lest we might simply be robots. No need to apologise, take offence or indeed, defend. Let the buttons flash red as demand arises but, hang onto humour to moderate the passion, yet not so to depreciate the importance of the issue.



Sir John A Macdonald comes to mind... Drunk in the Parliament House, he throws up and responds with, '’Every time I look across at the opposition I throw up”

 

MacD

That's funny! It reminds me of Winston Churchill, when being told by his (not well liked) hostess, "Churchill, you are drunk!!", to which he replies, "Yes, I am. But you, Madam, are ugly. And I will be sober in the morning."

    Play


 
 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

N'Awlins

NO  (New Orleans)

Well, I said I would be back to New Orleans to give you a better view of that great city, locally referred to as N'Awlins.

03 August 2014

I watched her as she worked on the sidewalk with her associate trying to shake that little mouse out of the electric fan. She was barely clothed, only in her string bikini, with her mildly seductive, no fat, anorexic looking sphinx body… looking somewhat like skin stretched over fibery thin muscle, desperately attached to her bones. She would have been more seductive in a dress, as she had a pretty face. It was Bourbon Street and beer at 32 degrees.

 

 

Yes, that famous iconic Bourbon Street onto which the ghosts of the whole world have tramped. That Bourbon Street, of that city, the birth place of Jazz, in Congo Park, of Charles “Buddy" Bolden…"The first king of Jazz,” using black blues and hymn vocal style. That city  of Louis Armstrong, of big Hollywood movies like The Big Easy and Easy Rider, of Hurricane Katherine, that virtually wiped it off the global map.

 

 
 
Yes New Orleans, Yes, that New Orleans, into which I plunged, with all the snakes of the world on my back, from 71 years of indoctrination. Mystics and voodoo shops lined the street offering fortunes and clairvoyance on your life… the past and the future. I should have been excited… was this not what I needed, insight into the mysterious darkness in my mind yet, I was afraid, to go there from all the stories of violence and corruption I heard from those who had never been there. My advice…never listen to those who have never been there!


 

I was overwhelmed, fell in love with it immediately. It was a fascinating kaleidescope, beguiling, bewitching, embracing throngs of people, signs, music, solicitors of all carnality and trades.  I never felt a violent underbelly, if it was indeed there. We were there for two glorious weeks on what might be called… the dark side of town, that got flooded out, the poverty side, in a cheap hotel, where all the staff were black, I seem to recall. Most obvious to me, the black people were at home there, they belonged there. They were friendly and courteous, with no apparent psychological baggage or hang-ups about  being “African Americans”. In fact, I checked myself from time to time… was this person serving me, black or white. I saw them as a child would seem them.

My hang-ups were gone. And I am from Canada’s East coast, Halifax North End where lives the biggest black population in the country where I lived for years before returning to Jasper Bog. The undercurrent, the dark underbelly is there, obvious, resentful, and rightfully so, as having their community literally bulldozed over and the population relocated by a hateful white racists indignity, that simply, thoughtlessly, inhumanly and violently expropriated their legal and centuries old homestead in the dark of the night.

But the streets of “N'Awlins” displayed none of that displacement. Yeah, I know, as a visitor, I am seeing it through a bit of rose coloured glasses. But, a  beautiful young lady artist/filmmaker I knew from home was killed there, in the dark of the night, in her home, by the street violence.   But the city survives and it is the seat of jazz, that invites trotters from around the globe. I plan to go back there to rent a room for while…. to play a bit of my blues.


 

I can say that I truly believe that the United States of America, with all of it vices, virtues, struggles is the embracing “chosen nation” though still evolving along that precarious yet hopeful thread, in that search for human decency, kinship and civility amongst all the diverse races of the world.

On Henriette Delille Street in the Upper Side of town we met Miriam, 86 yr sitting on her spot, in her deck chair on the sidewalk, across the street from her home in the shade of a banana tree next to a big old white plastered Spanish style church, “Shake the devil off” she said. She was my latest oracle and gave me permission to use her words for this blog. I hugged and thanked her and moved on to find places of Jazz and Blues on Frenchmen Street.

 
Before we left N'Awlins I had one more mission… to play my banjitar on Bourbon Street, that famous street that agitated my blood, my adrenalin, that street where I felt enwrapped in ancient arms of kindness. It felt a bit silly and I was very nervous but, it was a duty to myself within my mission that I had to fulfill. It would be my first ever busking. I set up and opened my Banjitar case, for the bucks that would roll in.


 It was easier than I imagined, sitting for about an hour, basically playing one verse of Wabash Cannonball, over and over, as travellers passed in quick succession. One passer-by proudly called out, “That was written in my home town in Tennessee” I made seven bucks for my first little foray in N'Awlins.  Still, yet, I have a long way to get over my childhood indoctrination… that “art is a waste of time in life” so, am constantly feeling guilty, which holds me back from truly expressing my feelings and the nuances in the lyrics when I sing. It is a dreadful curse on me! I see a picture, as if watching myself sing and I am embarrassed, always, always, always!!!... not confident that I will ever climb over that mountain, as hard as I try… it is Sisyphus. I do feel a sadness… as if I am being deceitful, a rebel against the customs of my natural place, which I did not chose and from which I broke away, fundamentally breaking the laws of my land. And as I write this, my chest is filled with a pumping anxiety and exhilarated heart rate…. coupled with a further determination to break that curse.

The vacation was over… we all went our separate ways.. Cal and Kim to Toronto, Lulu back to the Yukon and I off across Southern USA to New Mexico

One of two remaining family members from my previous generation… my father’s half sister lay in an Albuquerque hospital with dehydration and vomiting following a serious car accident. She is a fighter. I must be there for at least moral support. This may be her last days.
 

EGO




Rod

My DAAARRRRLIN’ you have written a lot of interesting commentary here. Sometimes I think we, you and I are riding on the same psychic wave...

MacD

Here are some questions:

Is the task at hand to encourage thought through the creation of an object? Or is it to measure the impact of its expression (validation)?
Rod

I think the “object”... the product?, be it material or philosophical is what arrives out of thought, incidentally... idealistically... thought and the freedom of thought, being the objective



MacD

And just how does one measure that impact? Through societal means? i.e. recognition, praise, money, publicity, demand? These are ego pursuits.


Rod

Is “ego” learned? and if it is, then it is a parasite on the back of praise, recognition, etc., for survival..in fear of demise. I do have an ego but, it seems to be waning in face of my need to develop eloquence or perfection, which are the products of the external world... applied ego? If we succeed at survival... at the skill, for instance, of killing a beast, we feel better, as our belly is full and future killings require less energy, more productivity, more leisure time. Does ego arrive at this point? you teach your child the skill at successful procreation. Then arrives ‘satisfaction’... pride, with pats on the back. Everyone is happier. If it is for the success of the tribe...is it evil? Is it ego or does it become ego if it rewards only yourself and not the community, where others are placed in servitude for your benefit, your ego?

I think a performer on stage, giving people delight, is healthy for the audience [tribe]... If the performer, the teacher is skilful, the tribe becomes more healthy and gives a pat on the back or an unsolicited buck in the pocket from the knowledge imparted to the tribe, with a new level of awareness.. an enhanced level of survival. The performer becomes the hunter/teacher. Ego arrives if the hunter does this for his own profit, that leads to the servitude of others.

As you can see...I am stumbling my way through this investigation of the meaning of “ego”. Now I say “eloquence and perfection’ are not externally applied but, come from the voice within, with a genetic need to grow one’s skill, probably above the mere need to survive that inherently brings with it the success of the tribe. Ego is a corrupt character flaw that is influenced from a genetic default... the selfish gene, which is largely socialized out, from childhood but, is ever present and brings debauchery, when ego steps in from the theatre of the absurd. ”




                                                                Elbow Room
 

MacD

So it's all about getting one's voice heard, then validated as influential---but how do we ever determine its influence?
Rod

Its influence is validated/successful if the tribe is truly and honestly happy, without regret or cynicism.



MacD

I'm thinking of a lone canary singing a beautifully brilliant song. He sings and sings, not a mating cry, just a long and uniquely precious voice singing away without thought of an audience. He sings because he can and because he needs to, and it is enough. He cannot know that the tiny child a mile away is so taken with the canary's melody that his inner music is awakened and he becomes a talented composer. The canary sings because he has a voice, and it is enough. He isn't seeking praise or payment or even impact.

There is a conflict of interest in our needs. One is to express. The other is to receive validation for the expression. One is clear and true. The other is a societal package. How can they both live in the same body?


MacD

If they live in the same body there is conflict... external, destructive conflict.



Of course, this is all from my source of Poetic Authority


MacD

Lately I've been wondering if I've lost my mind….or finally found my voice. I'm hoping it's the latter. I feel like I've made a wonderful discovery that answers a million agonizing questions I've had through life. And here I am writing to a man that knew this all along. Like I've jumped out of the mainstream into mental clarity.

Man needs his life to having meaning and purpose, whether it's misconceived, illusionary, or bang on the money. Isn't that the driving force behind ambition no matter the goal? Once he's figured out the vehicle to reach that goal, he seeks confirmation of having achieved it.
Rod

Morally and ideally, he seeks confirmation by a happy tribe, lest he arrives at internal conflict and external unhappiness, which of course can lead to a multiple of disastrous outcomes from an ego in decline.

MacD

The artist creates to express himself, to draw attention and interest, and his measure of achievement is in concrete results.


Rod

The artist creates to educate himself, to improve his skill.

 
MacD

Attaining the result is the most difficult and unpredictable step in his quest. The lack of a desired result can look like failure based on our social constructs of success. But I believe the unique expression in itself is the validation. If Man undoes his cultural packaging and expresses a new vision, the goal is achieved. It is a life of meaning and purpose and does not require external validation. The imprint of his work is permanent and not measurable under the terms of society. Validation is achieved when another man is directly or indirected ignited by the flow of unpackaged thought, but how and where can we be sure the flow originated with another person's expression?
Rod

I believe in the “unpackaging” to achieve new vision, new skills


MacD: Validation from society is an ego pursuit...
Rod: If there is corruption.



MacD

I've run out of battery….which may be timely.

Monday, February 9, 2015

JIHAD UN-IDEOLOGY



 
Katharine Viner,

Editor-in-chief USA Guardian

Dear Katherine

Thank you for the opportunity to stretch my new wings of criticism. You threw the challenge out and I threw it back. I had to do it… am Scropio. This kind of rhetorical journalism as printed from Hassan/Weiss, is regressive and self aggrandising. It should not even be debated as respectable material. It is not up to the standards of excellence, eloquence or inspiration. It is simply reckless adventurism. Except, maybe, if it was written by a neophyte. Unfortunately, this level of journalism/writing is all too common, on a global level these day… deafeningly so… “dumbing down“ your readership.

Hassan Hassan and Michael Weiss have just further dumped intellectual commentary into the dark and screaming crevices of ancient time’s gone by with their lazy, apathetic diatribe on Jihad debauchery. Those two, who obviously seem to have had nothing more stimulating to do so, inadvertently or cleverly... dredged up the boring age of reptilian savagery in human history and named it Jihad ideology, … WOW, what a unique discovery! That is sure to delight those non Islamic opportunists, those undoubtedly wealthy and ‘hand’ massaged opportunist watching it all vicariously in the security of their luxurious tents behind their computer screens, as their soldier slaves die in the field to get to heaven and to their promised endless supply of pillow virgins.
Weiss and Hassan have titled their scrap of rhetoric: Isis has reached new depths of depravity. But there is a brutal logic behind it.”*

First of all, though it can be explained biologically and philosophically, there is no political or religious logic to brutal savagery and it certainly was not exclusive to the depraved domain of Islamic history. If you have nothing better to do with your boring day, Masseurs Hassan and Michael, do a little research into the savage torture in the Roman Catholic Church or the daily entertaining practices of the Roman Coliseums…hungry lions tearing human flesh into juicy meaty fibres in front of hundreds of cheering fans, as across Europe in the middle ages, people getting barbequed in barrels, boiled alive or hung up and lowered slowly down onto sharpened poles driving up into their rectums until they die in horrific pain and of course… burning at the stake. They called it all, punishment for heresy, blasphemy or some other excuse for their pleasure of the day.


NO, NO, NO… you two guys should do something better with your time rather than scribbling down sensationalist, tedious rhetoric in a poor attempt to rationalize a “Jihad… Ideology” on an intellectual level. That is an intellectual insult and a sad travesty to human evolution.
We all know that it is easy to corrupt the minds of the weak, the uneducated, the oppressed ** … as done so by the Clerics, Imams, etc and by the so called “scholars” of theology, in every denomination throughout history. They are nothing more than criminal minded manipulators, which you are glorifying… why…WHY?


Why are you doing this… spending time elevating their treachery and savagery to the level of an “ideology” when that are simply reptiles of another epoch. And why is the Guardian media rag printing this Philistine bullshit.

“Freedom of speech”…you editors might retort.

I believe in freedom of speech but, not from supposedly educated PHDs, scholars or seasoned journalists when they puke out mindless hyperbole and verbosity like their article displays.

I do hope that no one reads this as a serious intellectual thesis. It would not even suit a grade “B” movie. Sirs, you have done a disservice to the benevolence in the human journey, regarding serious intellectual inquiry.

Oh… and audience out there, I now see that Regan Arts, out of New York is going to publish their book on that subject. I will not supply you with the title, as I fear it will be irresponsible of me and a more useless waste of print space and reading time for those seeking higher levels of intellectual inquiries.

 It is nothing short of Jihady sensationalism and prostitution…exposed and capitalised on by being published IN “respectable” media factories.



Regan Arts…How about publishing my blog Book . It is far more original, honest and entertaining. I will be passing by New York in late April... would be happy to drop by and say hi.

 

Cheers

Rod Malay

The Secular Cell
rod_malay@hotmail.com

www.shakethedevilofftour.blogspot.com


 
* Hassan Hassan, The Guardian “Isis has reached new depths of depravity. But there is a brutal logic behind it.”…

** Planting false memories fairly easy, psychologists find


Published in January 2015, in the journal, Psychological Science by Julia Shaw of Britain’s University of Bedfordshire and Stephen Porter



Note: This” memories” article is worth reading and it more appropriately applies to the indoctrinated minds of the Jihadist. One might also consider the effects of lazy journalism writing on the public mind. If we are told, on a regular basis, that there is a Jihadist “Ideology” we will eventually believe it. And such re-enforcement become omnipotent and dangerous. The fast bits and bite media of the day is doing exactly that. It is a time bomb… death by incremental process.

Friday, February 6, 2015

My Gypsy Woman


Did I tell you about her in previous blogs? I met her at the gas pumps in Amarillo, Texas 1978. I was stunned by her beauty and have been looking for her since that day. She truly was one of those iconic gypsy women and obviously noticed that I was looking at her, as she filled the gas tank of her green gypsy van, that was pulling a trailer behind.
Even now, today, as I write this story, my blood pressure is rising… transporting me back to that moment, that sunny day, with light reflecting from every direction. I was petrified as I watched her disappear, into the store to pay up. I must have looked like Kaw-liga, in that song by Hank Williams…

Kaw-Liga, was a wooden Indian standing by the door
He fell in love with an Indian maid over in the antique store
Kaw-Liga, just stood there and never let it show
So she could never answer yes or no


When she returned from the store she walked straight up to me. “Which way are you going” she asked. “East to Arkansas then North to Canada” My brain was about to explode with an aneurism.

“Could we travel that far together in case my van breaks down?”  I do not remember my actual response… probably some shit stupid Hollywood rhetoric.  At the outskirts of Little Rock Arkansas she pulled to the side of the road. Thinking she needed a rest, I pulled in behind her, got out to meet her coming toward me.

“I think my axel is broken. The engine is going but the van wont move.”
Everything I am telling you here is actual factual truth. In those days I was all fucked up about God and destiny so it was clear. God was working for me… it was meant to be.
It was Saturday. We found a tow truck. They came. She was driving. He was sitting in the passenger seat. They filled the cab… over flowing with their body fat. She squeezed out from behind the wheel. He did not move. She said, “I can take you van but, not your trailer.
Geri said, “Forget it”

She hooked up, trailer and all. Geri came with me, left her cats, Moon and Wind, in the van. We followed She and He back, back on ever narrowing roads with over hung, big leafy trees… getting shadier and shadier. We began to imagine scenarios like the movie Deliverance… arrows in our chest. We eventually pulled into an old broken down garage. She, He rolled out to be happily greeted by their two overly fleshy kids. They turned out to be the nicest people anyone could meet. He came to Geri and said, “Sorry Ma’am. I called around… can’t get you an axel til Monday but, I’ll get you back on the road first thing…stay right there in your van and friend can park behind you.

We hunkered down. Geri made tea and sweets, in her little van kitchen as her cats meowed around doing cat things.  I could not stop “gazing” at her with predator thoughts, perhaps, too obvious about it. But she was gracious, in her well tanned skin, flowing black hair and gypsy dress. She told me her story… leaving Oregon, with all of her possessions to marry a man in Florida.

She suggested I could leave and she would be okay. “No, no… I’ll stick around until Monday… I can sleep in my car“.  Aside from my predator instincts, it was the honourable thing to do…to not leave a woman stranded on a threatening back road in North Little Rock.

In those days it was easy, travelling in my little British made Austin-mini… I’d simply pull over beside the road and have a sleep. If the state patrol stopped by to check you out he would say,  “take it easy, have a nice night” an he’d move on. These days… its, “What are you doing here“ he demands, as he rudely wakes me up with… “it is against the law to park on the interstate… where are you from, where’s your license” Basically it is “Get the fuck out of here or I will give you a ticket” This is an actual experience a couple of months back. “The times they are a changing” Bob Dylan.
 
It is interesting how…
the wheel goes around and around
and faster and faster…
more than once in one’s life time these days…
looping back to start again.
The same killin, the same bleedin, the same starving…
over again, over again, over again…
“when will we ever learn“.


Geri and I chatted on into the night and planned dinner out at the little cat fish diner back the road a ways aside the Mississippi. I was in heaven. I will die with that magnificence in my last breath. Years later, I met her again, a reincarnation in another gypsy woman… Arri Kanina … made an oil panting of her and then wrote a song.


.

No two are the same, even in reincarnation and that is the absolute, profound joy of womanhood. Each magnificent relationship enhances the succeeding one. In the creating of art and song they come together as another being, in the telling. Arri Kanina took me on another impressionable level like an etching on ones soul/genetic plate. In this painting, she shows her back, a metaphor for her private world, where one must not invade, without invitation. That is a woman’s nation and men acquire only privilege to go there, if she so chooses. Look into the painting and you will see other images emerging. These are my imaginings of her private life…my  foggy reflections, projecting upon her, accepting her as she is or might  be.

The song merges those two gypsies and my journeys with them.



                  .

In my travels today, secretly, I seek a second reincarnation of the gypsy woman. I carry two bicycles on the roof of my van… “… one for me and the other for that gypsy woman I will meet along the road” I reply to the curious and they just laugh at my fantasy… one they no doubt wish upon themselves…. to be standing on a theatrical stage with her by my side, sharing the story to the audience of our journey together.  It will be fascinating… even to me

This…Shake The Devil Off Tour… has many facets and self fulfilling missions…fewer pejorative rants and to evolve myself to a higher state of wisdom on the human journey. I go off on many tangents, as the wind through my mind blows. 
 
The real and pragmatic objective is to produce a book on these blog instalments and develop a theatrical stage performance to accompany that book. I actually did this in Halifax, September 2013. The craftsmanship was somewhat of a disaster but, it was a start… the start of this phase of the tour.


In this setting are three of my female sculptures, addressed in previous blog instalments. I titled the show THE METAPHORIC MAN... because that was where my transitioning was at that time... under the control of social indoctrinated constructs, which I have concluded are metaphors of an abdicated life, where all power is lost or conceded, at the point of the gun, to those who write the book of life to suit their vested interests, most, maybe entirely, material interests, over the higher yearnings of the humanity.
 


So, come along with me and thanks for viewing my page… 17,000 and growing

Rod Malay
The Secular Cell
rod_malay@hotmail.com


Thursday, February 5, 2015

Convivtion vs Authority

Editorial notation…word deletion: “Fuck, bullshit, lies…”


I want to fire that fucking editor but, he has a point. Words like that most often diminish the believable objectivity of written commentary… “FUCK…!!!” I grew up with those indigenous words… ingrained in my culture. They were so common that they were virtually meaningless…. “I’m gonna burn his fuckin ass” That was a common refrain, a good one but, his ass did not get burned. That was just humorous, meaningless talk over a beer and game of cards. How does one move up from that ingrained vernacular without destroying ones essence? I have to admit… I tried again and again… just like I tried to give up masturbation because, I was told “you’d go blind”… another fucking theological fabrication. that curbed my pleasure for years, driving me into secrecy while denying that I had control over my hand.

Here is an exercise I used to rid myself of that “blasphemous” language… an intro to my book: The Book of Monad




 
Ok, let me see if I can convince you of my objectivity.

Conviction or Authority

There is a difference. One can be convinced of an ideology or idea while having no authority on the subject. On the other side… Strong conviction might quickly be labelled… believer. And “believers” rule the world …with ignorance. And the result is the atrocities that lead to wars, poverty, greed, human and material devastation, under the blanket of political and theological ideologies.


My conviction does not fit within either of those institutions… not the believers or the authoritarians. I believe in nothing, yet I am convinced that religious ideologies have been and continue to be the driving forces of all the bloodshed in the world. Political constitutions remain under the oppressive hand of theology. There truly are no secular constitutions. America… “In God We Trust”. Islam… “Allah Is Great”. In China… Buddha is Great.. All constitutions, ostensibly constructed for the people… are in the name of one God or another. It is all bull shit two face lies, loaded with smelly hypocrisy.

Religion doctrine is enshrined in the constitutions which ostensibly declares the separation of church and state.

Many Western constitutions, probably all constitutions all, are written on theological ideologies, which have no fact, no empirical evidence of fact. Yet they say there is a separation of state and church. What I say, what I think or what I postulate on has more fact based authority then the constitutions of the lands, which are based squarely on thesis’s that cannot be proven on any level.

 

Empirical evidence proves the point. I need not express any voice of authority on this matter.. the proof is spilt in blood on the street virtually every minute of every day. The theological loaded media (including social media) rage with sham aghast at heads being chopped off and the theatre of that action keeps giving, lest their audience should lose interest or fall asleep in their comfortable seats. So now to keep the audience awake… actors are burning hostages alive… in the name of God, of course.


 

“Religious” (if you can overlook the pass irreversible barbarities, justified by church dogma, including… burning… people alive at the stake) “is responsible for a lot of good in this world today”… you/they say!

First of all, that is not true and such false utterances is simply rhetorical propaganda from indoctrinated minds. All churches have a material vested interest in having the populous chant, in unison, their particular mantra.


You can still go to hell or become a fucking dog or chicken, etc if you do not “believe”!


Well… I DO NOT BELIEVE!!!
 






News flash
Top Muslim cleric… on the ISIS burning of the Jordian pilot alive… okay but why film the video in this shocking way” MSN news 05 Feb 2015

And you have no evidence outside your corrupt theological inventions. And given the “blood letting” still going on in the world today, in the name of your god… you have a long way to get back to neutral ground before you can even begin to seduce my mind again, as when I was a child. You have spent millennia, as parasites, riding on the back of science constantly updating church dogma in the name of your apparently ignorant, uneducated know-it-all-god. And you are still doing it. He did not even know the fucking earth was round, which was established by 3rd century BC astronomy but, speculated by philosopher Pythagoras in the 6th century BC. Secular science figured it out and dispelled the myth of the flat earth. And then the church jumped on it back like a prostitute and appropriated the language for their god. OH…the bible talks about the “circle” but the clerics so, “no, he really meant the sphere” in the book of Corinthians.

God was and is being invented, by human flesh, in the form of continually mutating myths, as antidotes to scientifically proven facts. As Bertrand Russell said at the ‘Pearly Gates‘ to justify his atheism… “you did not provide me with enough evidence”. He, like I, was open to the possible existence of god. But, that evidence is now well beyond 300 trillion scientific miles away from earth and fast exceeding that, as empirical data and facts advance… exponentially.

The declaration that human benevolence is a product of theological evolution is another corrupt and false belief. Again, there are libraries of empirical evident to the contrary, which, coincidentally point out yet another theological fabrication. I am profoundly convinced that we humans established benevolence long before the “story” of god jumped upon and appropriated that fact of life. I would say that archaeological evident has already proven this to be fact…. probably by the footsteps of Lucy and those that accompanied her… in the sands of time.

About 30 years ago I did a painting on the evolution of Christianity. I can convincingly argue that the painting titled, ROCK OF AGES, can be a metaphor that applies to all religions and is philosophically current, 2015. We start with the ROCK, the crash that has reverberated up through the geological layers of time.














 


Here is where I wish to insert “THE SECULAR CELL”, a cell that is 3.5 billion years old… approximately, up to the point where it was bastardized by conscious, man made myths. After that, it was all downhill into millennia of institutions constructed on the trades of prostitution and parasitic ideologies, which continue to this day with all of its constituent, destructive characteristics and atrocities and fortified by an education system that censors knowledge, making it a cleverly convenient instrument of behavioural control.

 

 

 

News Flash

Fourth-grader suspended ….for bringing a kids' book about pregnancy to school.” GOPUSA By Odessa American, (TX) February 3, 2015



Rod Malay
The Secular Cell
rod_malay@hotmail.com