Now that is a muscle truck. A former German Police vehicle.
We boys just cannot give it up… Power trucks and shaved pussies. Dominance and submission. Religion and femme chattel.
I spent weeks trying to write this blog… rather trying to get to essence this blog, to the ideology of this blog because, it is what my journey is or should be about.
18 Sept 2014
I’d been having Rilke moments these past few weeks… perhaps dead brain symptoms or dead cells. I read an incident once, that this great German poet went to one of his dear artist friends lamenting that he simply could not write “these days”. That artist, undoubtedly Rodin, instructed Rilke to just “write… wake up and write anything but, write” … clearly implying that the creative inspiration will return. I try to follow this wisdom in my work, as I believe it to be true. Still it is difficult to muster the energy at times. Albeit, unfortunately time does not procrastinate.
Cousin Danny gave me a book, that he has read three times, “WHY US?… HOW SCIENCE REDISCOVERED THE MYSTERY OF OURSELVES“ Well let me see. When someone comes up with an answer, I am immediately suspicious… of religious fanaticism. Lets see how far I get into this book by: James Le Fanu. What I like about scientific investigation is that it does not proclaim to know and offers no dogma. So here is Fanu, telling us that he has the answer but, seemingly using science to prove his point. Does this not sound like fanaticism. Cousin Danny says “not so”. And I respect Danny, his ethics, his commitment to nature and his life’s passion for minimal foot print upon the fragile blanket of mother earth.
Danny also gave me a CD package on Kurt Vonnegut… ARMAGEDDON IN RETROSPECT… an intriguing, humorous title. I imagine Kurt sitting on top of the rubble, with a smile on his face as he writes his story about what just happened. Well the thought of Vonnegut does spark the cellular synaptic pathways into action to wonder where human life, hence all life on the planet will tumble… to the point where “no waste” common supplement use, out of necessity because of toxic mother earth, will have by natural evolution, eliminated, made redundant the asshole, by way of the appendix or the tail. That would be an urban coup… no more necessity for expensive shitty sewage systems.
Let me lighten the load here a bit and return to the toy truck, sitting in the parking lot of the TIC NS, my home province, having just returned from over two months on the road. “No” I will say, “I am not home and yes, I did cut my hair… rather it melted off in the South Florida sun”. If fact, Nova Scotia does not feel like a place I want to call home. True, I was born here and my dead mother has already, before she died, bought me a plot in the plot beside her and my father. I might actually let that happen, just for ancestral record reasons. Buried in a burlap sack, not cremated, until I at least
investigate the energy of the most inexpensive system of burial. How much does it cost to incinerate a body any way. I think I would like it if they just lay my body on the surface and have one of pile drivers just punch me down. Better still, just drop me in the forest and let the animals feed on me, as I did on them throughout my life time. That seems fair. The ancestral historians could simply digitally GPS my last known location.
So arriving back in NS brought no sense of jubilation… just returned to validate a bunch of documentations and make a few more bucks to get me outta here again and back into South Florida, to make Star of my ex-Georgian/Russian wife, with her shitty pissing dogs.
When I pulled into the tourist information centre, I passed by that military looking iron monster of a truck, looking very alien and applied with foreign language text. Sitting at the front of it on the sidewalk was a guy in a pony tail, ragged blue jeans. He waved at me… an invitation? I waved back, to be courteous.
After picking up a tourist map (which is my habit at every stop.. souvenirs), I drove back to that truck… out of curiosity. He introduced himself as Mario, which I forgot immediately. So I always repeat my name two or three time, in case they are as forgetful as I. His beautiful lady approached. “Ramona”, she said, which I forget immediately. There really is just too much information to gather on first meetings. Are they friendly, behind those laughing greetings and hand shakes. His beard is greying. Her smile is soft and accommodating. He has blue jeans with worn out knees. She looks thin and fragile. He is strong, firm handshake. A foreign sounding speaking voice. Does he/she understand my English.
“Sorry, I forgot your name”. “Ramona” she said. I forget again, as I watched him… “Journalist” he said. I must have asked. “Travelling, taking pictures, making videos giving talks when we return home to Germany… I talk, she takes the pictures”. Ramona chuckled, in a proud way for his declaration, signifying they are a team. She embraced him lovingly.
“May I take your picture in front of your vehicle”. They were very accommodating. She embraced him very warmly and he pulled her tightly into his side
I began to like them immediately. They had very generous natures, as well as curious about my modest little cargo van. I gave them a little tour, with some details on my journey around America. They invited me into their tank.
Sleek precise European design. I loved it and have to admit some level of jealously… travelling the world in a magnificent muscle machine with a beautiful lady by his side… every man’s dream. But, their mission was not far removed from mine… investigating life…contemplating the apparent conflicting ideologies between Socialism and Capitalism. It was exhilarating but too short. We may connect again across sea and worlds apart. We embraced warmly as buddies. Mario showed me the “wheel house” on my way out, about seven feet above ground.(www.mario-goldstein.de)
Ramona and Mario brightened up my return to NS, such a serendipitous and unexpected meeting that offers friendship on the side of the world.
Strange… leaving USA was like leaving home after having met so many unique and generous cousins from Albuquerque to Boston, the last being Father Philip Davignon, Catholic priest, first cousin, I met fleetingly long ago at a younger age. He had many question about his Canadian family. Unfortunately, he did not have much new info about our dear Grandmother, Nellie. He is a definitive God fearing man, here with his dog Hogie
In his community of Christians, including most of his close cousins, not the least of which are my own siblings, I hesitated telling him I do not believe in the ideology of aChristian God. However, I felt the ethical obligation to inform him of my philosophical position. He was gentle and un-judging yet, I felt his imperative, though subtle duty to convince me that there is a God. It would be a comfortable to live in a world of, what I see a denial of reality, where humans have “dominion over all the land and animals”, where homosexuality is denied, where abortion is a sin.
Catholicism: “We hold these truths (The Declaration Of Independence) to be self-evident- that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
Is a homosexual not equal and not permitted life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness without being called abnormal by Catholic dogma. Is he better than a dog. And are women more than just a little bit better chattel. And Catholic positions on abortion are well documented and should be reminded of their judgement… “Judge not least ye be judged”… “Cast first the stone from your own eye”. And is masturbation not a sin?… “should not spill the seed upon the ground!” Where does life begin in the eyes of Christianity?
Father Phil… I love you!
And, I know you can imagine, my mind searches inside the great mysteries of my life in side my billions of cells and my genetic inheritance. I cannot accept that the answerable finality of Christianity is anything beyond hearsay. As ten people who see a car accident… there are ten differing accounts as is all we really have on the “Life of Christ”. Those observers could not even tell the colour of the car in that accident.
Science cannot say there is no God nor say that they have the answer. Any answer to that big question, is in my mind, one or another or is this case, many/multiple cases of spiritual fanaticism. Let me see what Le Fanu has to say about DNA in his book: WHY US?
See you later .
Selamat tinggal
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